IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Beyond doubt, there have been many discussions revolving around the issue of whether people believe that it may be good that it is gradually decreasing the number of languages for easier in the world or not.
Although
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this
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 idea is meaningful, from my perspective, I do not support
this
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 idea. In the next paragraph, I delve into the main reasons in their detail.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
with,
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 the first reason for my disagreement is that a
language
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 is like an
identity
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. The history and nationality of any community are expressed in its
language
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. If any country gives up their own
language
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, it will
also
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 drop its
identity
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.
That is
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 why history, formatting, and democracy are in connection with the mother tongue of
countries
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. A
language
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 disappearing can end up losing
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own
identity
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.
Hence
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,
this
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 situation can result in many crises in the relations between
countries
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.
Furthermore
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, a
language
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 is relevant to the culture and customs of
countries
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. Possessing a special own mother
language
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 means being dominant in
countries
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. Using few languages not only will
lose
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 the
language
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 of some
countries
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 but
also
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, they will weaken their power and control in the world until endless.
Therefore
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, the governments implement policies to spread their own
language
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.
For instance
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, free
language
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 courses are encouraged by
countries
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 in their embassy that foreign people to learn.
To sum up
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, using fewer languages can cause the loss of the
identity
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, history, and culture of
countries
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.
At the end
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 of
this
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 situation, democracy and civilizations can go down. All of them can end up with many crises like war and land demand.

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Introduction
Your introduction set a clear context for the discussion, but it could be strengthened by directly addressing the question posed. Make sure to clearly state your opinion regarding the importance of language diversity from the outset to guide your reader.
Body Paragraphs
To make your argument stronger, include more specific examples and evidence to support your claims about the importance of preserving languages. This will increase the impact of your essay and make your arguments more convincing.
Organization
Organize your ideas more clearly by using distinct paragraphs for each main point. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that outlines the main idea you will discuss.
Conclusion
While your conclusion summarises the main arguments well, consider reinforcing your personal viewpoint here more strongly to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation. Varied sentence structure and correct use of punctuation can enhance the clarity and flow of your essay.
Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
Content
You've effectively communicated the significance of preserving language as part of cultural and national identity.
Coherence
The coherence in your argument about the relationship between language, culture, and power is commendable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Language extinction
  • Communication barrier
  • Linguistic imperialism
  • Endangered languages
  • Language revitalization
  • Monolingual
  • Multilingual
  • Language preservation
  • Homogenization
  • Language policy
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Intangible heritage
  • Indigenous languages
  • Globalization
  • Dialects
  • Localization
  • Language documentation
  • Digital archiving
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