IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

technological innovations have affected our lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#innovations #lives
People
 are beginning to realize that
science
 and
technology
 have deeply affected our daily life. I very much agree with
this
 statement. With the development of modern
science
 and
technology
,
people
 generally use high
technology
, and modern
technology
 gradually affects
people
's lives. If there is no TV, the new policy issued by the government will not be able to spread to thousands of households. If there is no computer,
people
 who travel and study will not be able to video chat with their families. If there is no modern
technology
,
people
's living standards will not be greatly improved. Maybe now we are still living in a period of information closure. With the rapid development of
science
 and
technology
, especially computer network
technology
 and electronic information
technology
, expensive luxury goods
such
 as mobile phones and
computers
 have entered the homes of ordinary
people
 and become the necessities of our lives. Just imagine, if there is no mobile phone, how we can keep in touch with our relatives as we like; if there is no Internet, how can we chat with friends far away in foreign countries; if there is no high-definition television
technology
, how can we enjoy the gorgeous Hollywood Movie?
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 we must admit that
science
 and
technology
 have
also
 changed our way of life and our culture to a certain extent.
Howere
Correct your spelling
However
, modern
technology
also
 brings
harm
 to the environment and human beings. Recently,
people
 have become rich, and the road is too far to be bothered to walk, so they use cars
instead
 of feet. But the
harm
 caused by cars is far more than we imagined.
Although
 the exhaust fumes from automobiles may not look like much, they pollute a
lot
.
Moreover
, hundreds of millions of
people
 all over the world buy cars, and some
people
 even buy several, so the
harm
 caused by them is immeasurable.
As a result
, the sky is not as blue as before, and the whole world is starting to warm up.
Computers
 are
also
 harmful to human beings,
although
computers
 can enable us to acquire a
lot
 of new knowledge and know some things that we never knew before. But because of
computers
, many
people
 have become nerds and nerds. The radiation emitted by
computers
 cannot be ignored. Every year, many children put on glasses because they spend too much time playing with
computers
. The distance between
people
 becomes
faraway
Correct your spelling
far away
show examples
. In my opinion,
technology
 has brought us a
lot
 of convenience in our lives, but it has
also
 caused a
lot
 of
harm
.
Technology
 should be used to help
people
, not persecute
people
.
Submitted by z.pfister on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: