IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

research indicates that the people who were convicted criminals would often commit crimes again when they are set free why thisthe case? what can be done to solve this issue?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,the crime rate has increased around the world,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 recent research demonstrates one of the most controversial issues for societies is about criminals and their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 when they are released from prison after their sentences.
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the problems that offenders can create again for the community and their
families
Use synonyms
 and some possible solutions to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue. On the one hand,people who re-join from prison are a tendency to repeat their crimes,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means they need money for their responsibilities towards their
families
Use synonyms
 and they should pay their bills.
in addition
Linking Words
, they do not have any skills or abilities to start a new job and they could not adapt themselves or update
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their community
as well as
Linking Words
 people with
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
show examples
 record do not accept by their
families
Use synonyms
 and society,
all
Correct word choice
and all
show examples
 these reasons persuade them to commit a crime.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 problem governments' duties should not be taken lightly.The government first of all should support offenders financially for a
while
Linking Words
 after they
released
Add a missing verb
are released
show examples
 from prison.
In addition
Linking Words
, criminals should monitor during their sentences regularly to avoid them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing or learning something wrong in jail.Authorities should hold some useful training classes or rehabilitation courses to help them to boost their knowledge and their skills to have enough self-confidence for re-entering the society
To sum up
Linking Words
, the
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
 has numerous obligations towards criminals to help and support them financially,
families
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 should support them mentally and encourage them to be better people for their family and their society.With the cooperation of ,both we could gain the desired result and make the earth a better place to live.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: