Nowadays, celebrities are more known for their glamour and wealth than their accomplishments and this is setting a bad example for the youngsters. Do you agree or disgaree with the statement ?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #accomplishments #youngsters #disgaree

At present, famous

people

are known as celebrities who gain

money

easier than normal

people

. Some individuals think that it might be a bad example for

children

. From my perspective, I somewhat disagree with

this

statement. In

this

essay, I will analyze the reasons why I have

this

mindset and express my opinion. There are several reasons to support my agreement.

Firstly

, It is not only a negative result if an infant wants to be a celebrity but

also

has positive things.

For example

this

situation can push the inspiration of youngsters.

Moreover

, wanting to be a celebrity is not a bad thing because singer and performer is an honest occupation.

Secondly

, It is a fact that famous

people

are easy to gain more

money

than normal

people

. For illustrate,

people

who have a lot of social media followers are more likely to have a chance to acquire

money

from posting some content on

this

platform for advertisement.

On the other hand

, others believe that if

children

want to be an idol, it will lead to a bad situation.

In particular

, if

children

try to be famous

people

like Tiktokers and Instagram idols,

this

trend will lead to forgetting to pay attention to studying in school. On top of that, they should not compare themselves with celebrities since it will be resulting in self-dissatisfaction. In a nutshell,

Although

I disagree with

this

statement, life achievements are different depending on each individual.

Additionally

money

is not the success criteria, all

children

's behaviour should be based on correctness and under adult supervision.

Submitted by chayada232 on Mon Feb 13 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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