IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays, people spend a lot in celebrating occasions. Do you think it is a good or bad thing? Give your opinion.

#people #occasions
Occasions are a special way to express your love and affection towards another individual. At times
society
 feels happy so celebrating is considered a gesture of showing joy by making it a big deal.
However
, with joy comes responsibility which
society
 tends to forget in order to please
society
.
Firstly
, individuals tend to spend a lot more on small victories in their work life or in their personal life.
For example
,
society
 spends millions of dollars on an event to please the community and to maintain its status in
society
. By doing
this
 they are not benefiting anyone rather than spending money on the occasion which could be invested in useful things like houses, education or food.
On the other hand
, it is beneficial to show your happiness in the form of a celebration as a person works hard and must reward themselves with a celebration.
For instance
, a small promotion in the office turns out to be a grand party at a fancy place
whereas
 an individual can host a small get-together at their house where they are not spending too much and enjoying
on the other hand
 too.
To sum up
, excess of everything is harmful if you are celebrating your win one should make sure it's within your budget just by pleasing
society
 and spending endlessly on an event won't let you sustain in the long term
therefore
, a person should spend wisely in my opinion.
Submitted by devikakapur92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: