IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Over the past few decades, a vast proportion of individuals who are struggling with health problems are attempting
alternative
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 medicines and treatment as a replacement for paying a visit to their usual doctors. I vehemently declare
this
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 is a negative trend
due to
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 the detrimental ramifications, namely immense
side
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effects
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 and people’s lack of in-depth knowledge regarding the usage instruction of
alternative
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 drugs and treatments. To commence with, a fundamental demerit of utilizing
alternative
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 medication
instead
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 of visiting a professional
doctor
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 would be the harmful consequences. Whereby, painkillers probably have
side
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effects
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 that are known by professionals
such
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 as doctors or surgeons.
Nonetheless
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, a patient could be influenced by threatening
side
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effects
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. My grandmother,
for instance
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, took a painkiller without visiting her usual
doctor
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, which resulted in insomnia.
Furthermore
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, the safest pattern to use remedies is to not only be aware of the exact dosage the body requires, but
also
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 the duration of usage is momentous which is different from person to person and doctors are familiar with these procedures.
Therefore
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, taking advantage of these substances without visiting a
doctor
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 would be undoubtedly dangerous.
This
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 happened to my father, who was diagnosed with COVID-19 and started to use remedies to improve his breathing without informing his
doctor
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,
however
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,
due to
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 the wrong dosage and duration, resulted contrastingly.
To conclude
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, given the scenario above, everything can be recapitulated into the fact that currently, a staggering number of people who are struggling with health difficulties are trying
alternative
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 medications and treatments which in my point of view is a negative development
due to
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 the dangerous
side
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effects
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as well as
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 users lack of knowledge of the usage instruction.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introductory paragraph that clearly states your opinion and previews the main points you will discuss in the essay. This sets the stage for a well-structured response.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each beginning with a clear topic sentence that signals the content of that paragraph. This will strengthen the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Develop and expand your main points more thoroughly. Provide more detailed explanations, consequences, and make use of more linked ideas to support your arguments.
task achievement
Complete the task by ensuring you address all parts of the prompt. Reflect on both sides of the argument, even if you are arguing for one side, to show a full understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and comprehensively by elaborating on your arguments with a mix of complex structures and vocabulary.
task achievement
Provide a balanced range of relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. You could also include hypothetical examples or make reference to general knowledge to reinforce your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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