Some people think that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while other people think it encourages crime. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. devlpt of techno reduces crime Devlpt of techn encourages crime
Owing to the problem that the development of contemporary devices alleviates crime,
while
others think it's the opposite of the result which probably increases crimes
in advance. Presumably, it has two sides of perspectives. However
, in this
topic, I will state my opinions in the following paragraphs.
Generally looking to the future of technology which ensures human beings in the long term, has a plethora arguments of from certain communities that it's likely to reduce illegal actions. For example
, securing borders with an application, namely ICA in Singapore before entering the city is common in this
current situation, which can prevent future crimes
from illegal immigrants to their country. It's consequently
helping the immigration office to access foreigners' databases of their previous legal activities in their home country which I assume is the preferable option to decline crimes
by using high technology without searching manual data in each Embassy.
On the other hand
, another ongoing debate on this
issue is some people think it encourages crime. By using the internet, individuals can access private information which stressing some generations nowadays. Regarding International police reports, one example of a common crime is an illegal transaction by credit card. Hackers usually use the secure figures on a credit card by searching someone's data because certain banks do not involve PIN codes for their products which are easy to access. Alternatively, I think the best solution is for the bank to provide PIN codes and signatures before purchasing items to avoid future problems which can reduce emotional tendencies in society.
In conclusion, there are still critics of whether it's more advantages or disadvantages in this
topic which is related to electronic data which sometimes happens in this
generation. However
, it can be minimized effectively by some preferable actions to avoid crimes
in the long term.Submitted by wulandarianggieta on
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coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to improve clarity. Some sentences are long and complex, making it difficult for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea that is clearly stated and developed. Avoid mixing multiple ideas in a single paragraph.
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Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and your points clearer.
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Avoid repeating similar ideas. Once you have made a point, move on to a new one. This will help in maintaining the reader's interest and improving overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps give structure to your essay.
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Your essay addresses both sides of the argument comprehensively and provides a balanced view.
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You have used relevant examples to illustrate your points, which strengthens your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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