Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

How to achieve success in personal life is always a hot topic.

Although

people

can make achievements without having an academic qualification, I would argue that higher

education

is the best choice to ensure a bright future. It is true that experience in professional fields and passion can lead to success. Accumulating skills and experience in a specific area allows

people

to become experts in

this

subject and be amply rewarded.

For instance

, most football stars have never gone to university.

However

, their competence in playing football and their strategies for winning matches make them successful athletes who can earn enormous fame and wealth.

Besides

, passion is

also

a key factor in achieving one's goal. To give an illustration, the well-known inventor Edison only finished elementary school, but his enthusiasm for exploring the electrical world not only made him one of the greatest inventors of the 20th century but

also

turned him into a successful businessman. Despite the benefits of other elements discussed above. I would argue that going to university or college is the best choice for

people

. Most importantly, it opens the door to better job opportunities. Nowadays, most high-skill positions require at least a bachelor's degree in relevant fields.

For instance

, it is impossible to become a doctor or an electrical engineer without receiving post-secondary

education

Therefore

, having higher

education

experience allows

people

to get decent jobs and earn satisfying salaries. What is more, today's job market is extremely competitive. For one open position, there could be hundreds of applicants. In

this

situation, only

people

with degrees have the chance to win out. In conclusion, other factors

also

contribute to success in life, but I believe higher

education

is the best of all.

Submitted by sabrinahuang0105 on Mon Feb 13 2023

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task response

Ensure that all examples provided are directly relevant to the main points and effectively support the arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and create a more seamless flow of information.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas in a more diverse and precise manner.

grammatical range

Work on using more complex sentence structures and varying sentence patterns to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical accuracy and flexibility.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Interviews form the basic selecting criteria for most large companies. However, some people think that interview is not a reliable method of choosing whom to employ and there are other better methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

4.Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree？