IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

When designing buildings people should consider the intended use rather than appearance. Do you agree or disagree?

#buildings #people #appearance
While
 it is a commonly held belief that the engineers must build the
apartements
Correct your spelling
apartments
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way it benefits
people
 rather than it looks better. From my perspective, I
strongely
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe that the constructing
people
 must fabricate the flat in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 process that
fit
Correct subject-verb agreement
fits
show examples
 more
people
 rather than it
appear
Change the verb form
appears
show examples
 nicer. In the forthcoming
paragraghs
Correct your spelling
paragraphs
,
this
 essay will explain my point of view and why I think that.
To begin
 with, making homes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
suitable
Add a missing verb
are suitable
show examples
 for more
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
cities
 can help to solve the problems of
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
populations.
For instance
,
a prestigious journal articles
Correct the article-noun agreement
prestigious journal articles
a prestigious journal article
show examples
 published that 90% of the communities are shifting from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas to the cities, because of the higher job opportunities in the cities.
Therefore
, the authority must review the building code to solve the issues of
over condensing
Add a hyphen
over-condensing
show examples
.
Thus
,
this
 makes it clear that the engineers must assemble the home in the methods that help more
people
 to live in it.
Moreover
, the fabricating
people
 may consider
to invest
Change the verb form
investing
show examples
 less money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 leisure places in the
apartement
Correct your spelling
apartment
 and
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
 more in making more rooms. To illustrate, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home builders tend to put up the flat in the process that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more entertainment areas
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 smaller rooms.
Consequently
, having
such
a small rooms
Correct the article-noun agreement
a small room
small rooms
show examples
 will complicate
communities
Correct article usage
the communities
show examples
 life as the
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
growing
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 up and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need their privacy. Indeed, it becomes apparent that forming more usable homes a significantly better than building
a perfect looking homes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a perfect looking home
perfect looking homes
show examples
. In conclusion, In my opinion, I consider that the
apartments
Change the noun form
apartment
show examples
constructers
Correct your spelling
constructors
show examples
 should form the home in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways that
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 communities, especially with the increasing numbers of immigrants from
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban areas.
Submitted by mgumssan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: