IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writing can be stored electronically. Others, think that printed books still play important roles. Discus both views and give your opinion

#people #books #era #roles #discus
Nowadays, with the advent of technology , and the internet some people have been considering electronic
books
 more important.
Therefore
,
according to
 them printed
books
 are no longer necessary and should be replaced.
However
, some argue that paper
books
 have their own charm and significance for
readers
. In
this
 , essay I will highlight the importance of printed writing in our lives. On the one hand, E-
books
 are easy to buy and download for free. All you need is access to the internet.
In addition
, it is convenient to store them in the E-libraries of smartphones or laptops.
Then
 there will no longer be the need to buy bookshelves for their arrangement and storage.
Moreover
, electronic
books
 are portable and can be carried during travelling. So, because of their availability and ,
accessibility
Add a comma
accessibility,
show examples
 these
books
 have become the first choice of
readers
 these days.
On the other hand
, I agree with the viewpoint that printed
books
 are still playing an important role in our lives.
Firstly
, these
books
 offer
far-fewer
Correct your spelling
far fewer
show examples
distractions than E-
books
.
For instance
,
while
 reading digital
books
readers
 are more likely to
distract
Wrong verb form
be distracted
show examples
 by the notifications on their androids.
Secondly
, these
books
 are easy to read because they do not put a strain on the eyes.
Finally
, having libraries in our houses
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that our academic achievements are linked . There is a proverb, "a house which has a library has a soul in it". To summarize,
although
 digital
books
 are economical and offer many advantages, the importance of printed
books
 in
readers
' lives can not be ignored because these
books
 help them to improve their focus and concentration.
Submitted by areejiqbal437 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Try to integrate more transitions to guide the reader through the argument (e.g., 'additionally', 'in contrast', etc.). This will enhance logical flow.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate the points made, which will help in making your arguments more solid and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Work on varying sentence structures to enhance the clarity and engagement of your writing, making your ideas stand out more.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides relevant arguments on each, which helps in achieving a well-rounded discussion.
Task Achievement
Good use of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'accessibility,' 'portable,' and 'distractions,' which shows command over the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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