IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Because so much information is available on the internet today, traditional secondary schools and teachers are no longer necessary. Do you agree with this statement?

#information #internet #schools #teachers
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It is important to consider if, these days, conventional schools and professors
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are still essential for a
student
´s life
due to
 the availability of the
internet
.
Although
 I consider that
this
 latter plays a crucial role in our lives, I firmly believe that schools are still important to divert the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to the right path. Considering
firstly
 the role of a teacher,
that is
 crucial to guide the
student
 to what matters for their studying.
This
 is because the
internet
 world is so wide, that the
student
 himself would find it difficult to choose from all the
information
 available online. A good illustration of
this
 is when a
student
 needs to learn about the First World War, and the
information
 on the
internet
 does not have an end, so he would need a teacher to serve as a moderator to choose what is important from what is superficial.
Additionally
, much
information
 available on the web is not accurate, still requiring verification, and it is rather common for a
student
 to find false websites, which could not be validated for his studies.
On the other hand
, another aspect to take into consideration is the role of the school and the classroom in a
student
´s life. They are extremely important to help the
student
to
Verb problem
apply
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develop the necessary social and soft skills to prepare them for a future job, which they would no longer achieve if they were at home on their own studying on the
internet
. Thereby,
team-working
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teamwork
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, leadership, interrelationship and argumentative skills are some of the wide range of them that students may develop.
This
 can be,
for instance
, aimed not only at social interactions during the break time but
also
 through assignments or public presentations that professors require children to do during the classes. In conclusion,
whereas
 access to the
internet
 is essential, nowadays, as it represents an infinite source of
information
, which can complement traditional learning methods, I am a vehement supporter that professors are the main moderators between the material available online and what from them is true and important to learn, and the institution represents the best place to develop skills which will be needed for a future at work.
Submitted by ana.lpsmachado on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing the role of traditional schools and teachers in the age of internet. It presents a balanced argument and effectively supports the writer's stance.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. The supporting points are well-developed and connected with appropriate transitions.
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