IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as teamwork. What are the causes? Suggest possible solutions. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #businesses #employees #lack #skills #teamwork
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In some businesses, there has often been a problem with new employees regarding the lack of interpersonal
skills
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,
for example
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, teamwork practices. I believe that the lack of basic interpersonal
skills
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 regarding new employees often originates from insufficient collaboration or teamwork materials in their colleges and institutions leading to unprepared employees with no collaborative
skills
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. Many studies have shown that there has been a lack of help and collaboration between students in class
due to
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 the excessive amount of
work
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 institutions have put on students,
this
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 has led to an incredible amount of stress, forcing students to only focus on finishing what they need to do, without having time for recreative activities.
Therefore
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, they do not get enough
work
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skills
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such
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 as communication and teamwork within studies or extracurriculars. In order to solve
this
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 problem colleges and high schools should focus on providing these types of
skills
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 without losing focus on academics. A new system needs to be created where young adults can engage in extracurricular activities with others, like art, sports, competitions, and academic clubs.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 method should
also
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 be applied in the classroom as part of an academic obligation in the school, with tasks including group effort,
consequently
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, they can be able to
work
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 with different opinions, acquiring new expertise for problem-solving. These would be helpful by the time these learners start working for companies.
To conclude
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, the educational system these young adults are getting from their studies is not providing enough abilities to
work
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 with a wide range of different points of view.
Thas
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This
show examples
 way the learning structure should change the way it functions today to create postgraduates who can adapt to companies more easily.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Task Response
Try to diversify your examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop each paragraph with a clear main idea followed by specific details or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Managing to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Successfully identifying both causes and solutions to the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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