IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries students are engaged in some sort of paid work . Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. What is your opinion?

#countries #students #sort #work #people #responsibilities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
working is a crucial part of every person's life, whether he or she commences
work
 before or after graduation.
while
 some
people
 tend to
work
 only after finishing their education, others' direction is to
work
 and study at the same time. In
this
 essay, I will outline the causes that make me believe having a job
along with
 being a student is intelligence. First of all, self-confidence, as a student will undergo various types of vacancies and meet different
people
 that definitely will increase his/her self-confidence.
Moreover
, gaining precious experience and training that will benefit them in future
work
as well as
 in their life in the long run.
for instance
, I worked in my uncle's electric shop in the past, despite how many
people
 I met and some of them became my friends, I learned how to fix electric devices which helped my broadly in my current days and made me look like a genius in the eyes of my children. Another crucial benefit is self-independent, when students are involved in a job, they make and save money, that they can spend on daily life routines or even pay for their college or university fee, which will make students depend on themselves rather than depend on their families to provide them with their needs,
hence
, increase the sense of responsibility and self-supporting.
In addition
, that will make them appreciate the value of money so they will be reasonable when it comes to financial management and will spend wisely. In conclusion, working alongside with study have many merits, even though a number of
people
 think
this
 approach has downsides, I completely disagree and believe the job will improve students self-confidence and make them responsible.
Submitted by hayderhayder on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: