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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters hat affect them. Discuss both and give your own opinion.

There have been conflicting views on whether or not
children
Use synonyms
 should have the right to make choices about things surrounded that will influence them. In my opinion, creating opportunities for
children
Use synonyms
 to decide is vital so they can learn how to cope with failure as long as independent at an early age. Making a decision at an early stage contributes to building stronger stamina and teaching
kids
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 how to deal with decisions that have gone wrong.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
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 should take the responsibility to prepare their own uniform, homework or their own school schedule since those are things
children
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 should spend time with and it will affect their daily life. From there,
children
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 can have a lesson if they do something wrong since the decision they made was from them.
However
Linking Words
,
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 and
children
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's relationship might be affected if adults let them decide most of everything on a daily basis since the more
kids
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 are independent, the more they do not need help from
parents
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.
On the other hand
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, those who are against
children
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 should make their own decisions and claim that
kids
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 tend to become selfish if the guardian lets them follow their wishes. The example can be seen that
kids
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 from Western society are likely to be more independent and greedy since they have the opportunities to decide their life at an early age.
While
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 the adulting journey, the advice from
parents
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 is treasured since they are who have been through what
kids
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 will meet.
By contrast
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, deciding for
kids
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 make them rely on adult and blame their
parents
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 if unforeseen problems happen. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 choices made by
children
Use synonyms
 can go wrong they still can learn a lesson and have experiences distilled from it.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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