IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology , which will help prevent and solve crimes in an easier way . Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that
cutting edge
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cutting-edge
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technology
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 may lead to a drop in the rate of violent activities. I completely agree with
this
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 notion because the usage of contemporary
technology
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 will alleviate terrorism and surveillance
cameras
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 will aid in solving crimes. First of all, making
use
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 of modern
technology
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 will control terrorist activities.
This
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 is because ,in order to execute some plan,
criminals
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 always
use
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 mobile and other gadgets to communicate.
Such
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 communications can be easily intercepted by
cutting edge
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cutting-edge
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 tools which play a paramount role
to deter
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in deterring
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 terrorist plans.
For instance
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, at the time of the Bombay bomb attack,anti-terrorist squads had decoded the conversation of
criminals
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 by the usage of modern technological software.
As a result
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, it has averted the killing of numerous innocent citizens.
Therefore
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,
technology
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 acts as a blessing to society in terms of addressing terrorism. Another point to consider is that the inclusion of surveillance
cameras
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 brought a significant decrease in offensive activities. To elaborate, the installation of
such
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 kinds of gadgets will capture all events, which was impossible in the past.
Consequently
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, it provides strong evidence of criminal activity which leads to solving complex cases with ease. To illustrate, a recent study concluded that the installation of surveillance
cameras
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 in Delhi,
lead
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led
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 to a marked reduction in theft cases.
Thus
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, making
use
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 of advanced gadgets will help to retrieve the
criminals
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 with ease, which in turn deter the
criminals
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that offensive acts are on fall
due to
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 the
use
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 of contemporary
technology
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. Not only it does aid in solving difficult criminal cases by using modern spy
cameras
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 , but it
also
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 averts terrorism which saves thousands of innocent lives.

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language
Consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing style.
task
Try to develop your ideas a bit more deeply, providing a detailed explanation and analysis of your examples.
coherence
Ensure all points are clearly linked to the central thesis of your essay for optimal coherence.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a position on the topic and supports it with relevant examples.
task achievement
You have effectively used examples to illustrate your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, guiding the reader through the argument.
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