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Band 7

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development.

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #everone #development
there are some opinions in some countries that if they want to increase the
quality
 of
sports
, they must build the best sport place or import the best
equipment
.
in contrast
, they don't want to attention
tools
Change preposition
to tools
show examples
 of the public
sports
. in my opinion,
although
 there are some merits to professional
equipment
, I strongly believe its negative aspects are noticeable. on the one hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that it's important to attention to achieving international ranks by building specialized facilities. From
this
 point of view they think if they are upgrading all of their
equipment
, they are able to achieve the best stage in the international tournaments.
for example
, if the government is willing to rise the stage of football in their country, they must build football grounds with high
quality
.
however
, I don't find
this
 argument valid because most parts of the sport learning in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
types of
sports
 don't need the best
equipment
quality
.
on the other hand
, many commentators justifiably argue that there are several drawbacks to
this
 viewpoint.
firstly
, the declining
quality
 of public
sports
 is a threat to the health of people. from an experienced perspective if the statistics of exercise decrease, they will have several health problems in the near future,
such
 as being overweight, and blood pressure.
thus
, the government must cost more than past to control the disease.
moreover
, there are several factors for success in each sport
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
quality
 of the coach. in conclusion,
although
 there are some positive points for improvement facilities, the drawbacks of that are far more.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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