IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 era, it is apparent that the contemporary heritage consists of diverse cultures,
as well as
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 it is logically rare to
exist
Verb problem
have
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 a pure culture. Despite cultural exchange, some argue that offspring should be taught just in their own country’s
literature
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.
However
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, I firmly agree with exposing children to different
literature
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, through debating the reasons which are expressed in the following. It is universally acknowledged that there is a history and story behind every
literature
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, and
also
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 it is undeniable that some stories have been established in different countries.
Thus
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, if a student is being taught just by theirs, learning others’
literature
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 would be unavoidable. On the other side, in my viewpoint, lessons and
deeper
Correct article usage
a deeper
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appreciations
Fix the agreement mistake
appreciation
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of experience could be gained from fabulous international
literature
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,
such
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 as
masterpieces
Correct article usage
the masterpieces
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 of Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare and War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. It goes without saying that
necessities
Correct article usage
the necessities
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 of studying provenance
literature
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 are not dropped off by studying international one. By doing so, it could give them a wide perspective of understanding in today’s globalized world.
For example
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, it can give an insight to immigrants into the compatibility of coexisting with locals in
destination
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their destination
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 ,
as well as
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 connecting and having in common with them.
In addition
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,
while
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 reading various literatures, the language skills would improve.
To conclude
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, I totally support the reason
of
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for
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learning
literature
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 of their own country, but it is crucial for juveniles to be exposed to other countries too.
As a result
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, they can be more adopted and open-minded.

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Task Achievement
Expand and clarify your ideas further by providing more distinct, specific examples to support your point about the importance and benefits of learning both national and international literature. While you mention works like 'Romeo and Juliet' and 'War and Peace', integrating examples that explicitly show how they offer lessons or cultural insights could enrich your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on refining your essay's logical flow. While your essay is generally well-organized, there are moments where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using transitional phrases more effectively can help guide the reader more seamlessly from one point to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors and wording to enhance clarity. Your essay contains several instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical inaccuracies which can detract from the reader's understanding. Consider revising sentences for clarity and simplicity, and make use of tools or resources for grammar checking.
Task Achievement
Practice developing a more engaging and persuasive conclusion. Your concluding paragraph should echo the main points of your essay more forcefully, summarizing your stance and why it's significant in a compelling manner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Native literature
  • Cultural identity
  • Heritage
  • Traditions
  • National pride
  • Language skills
  • Idiomatic expressions
  • Engagement
  • Relatability
  • Broaden perspectives
  • Cultural awareness
  • Open-mindedness
  • Literary heritage
  • Bias
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Global community
  • Domestic vs. international literature
  • Cultural nuances
  • Sense of belonging
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