As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problems. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions for these problems?

#cities #world #people

Now in the 21st

century

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,century

show examples

the world is developing as fast as possible. At the same time, the population is

also

growing. In

this

essay

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,essay

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we will discuss how a growing population affects the universe. And as

the

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apply

show examples

our peace grows and improves the problems in our system

also

increase.

Firstly

according to

statistics calculated at the Harvard Institute, the number of people who smoke is increasing every year, which

also

has a significant impact on our environment.

Secondly

along with

the development of

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

a mobile

show examples

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

, the number of cars whose exhaust smoke spoils

our

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the

show examples

air that we breathe is

also

increasing. In conclusion, I would like to say that if humanity switches to a more healthy and active lifestyle,

then

our world would improve noticeably in a fairly short period of time. Please do not be indifferent to the world in which the next generation will live, because the future state of our home depends on them.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Thu Feb 16 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

158 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problems. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions for these problems?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays children are experiencing increased educational, social, and commercial pressure. What are the reasons for this? What is a solution to reduce the pressure?

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe online reading material should be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today