Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Nowadays,
communicated
Replace the word
communication
show examples
media is used daily to keep
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
with everyone and get the latest
news
. As I see it, it brings a lot of advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This
writer will provide the evidence. On the one hand, it is true to admit that it is convenient for
people
to contact and get
news
by using social media.
People
just need a smartphone, and from that they can access social networking. Just need to bring a small phone, and
people
can get global
news
events from all over the world.
For example
, in Vietnam in the 1900s if
people
wanted to keep in touch with their
relatives
, they needed to use a letter and write it, after that, they needed to wait for a long time for the letter transported to their
relatives
, so it was inconvenient if they get the crucial problem to inform with their
relatives
.
In addition
, if there were no social platforms to update the
news
,
people
in the past needed to wait for the letterman to know about the
news
from all over the world, but it might not vary by current eras, with the updating quickly
news
,
people
can access many fields from one day and from all over the world.
On the other hand
, it is
also
a saving cost for
people
, it is recognized that in the past
people
might have spent a lot of money buying letters and it did not include the tax for transportation.
However
, using the internet can
also
easy for
people
to keep in touch with their
relatives
by using the free platforms and not need to spend other taxes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or fees.
Moreover
,
people
can contact and update the
news
every time and everywhere not limited to the particular time to wait for the operation of the offices that are responsible for transporting letters. In conclusion, it is true to concede that utilizing social media can have more benefits in
people
's lives, and it can cater for
people
's lives if they know how to use it in the right way.

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear and direct answer to the question in your introduction. Your standpoint should be unmistakeably stated from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively by using clear topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Enhance your essay by varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to add precision and vividness to your arguments.
Task Achievement
To improve your score further, aim to provide a deeper analysis of the advantages and disadvantages and how they compare to each other, citing more specific, real-world examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
For a stronger conclusion, summarize your main points more clearly and reiterate your stance on the argument, ensuring it reflects the discussion in your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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