Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals #want

Nobody would dispute the fact that advertising plays an important role in our daily life.

While

some advertisements make some judgement on

people

's appearances and try to make everyone live like one another, in my opinion, I completely disagree with

this

statement. Commence with, there are several factors why advertising should not discourage

people

from being different. It is true to say that everyone is born to be a unique individual, and it is hard to standardise based on the subjective criteria given by the public.

For example

people

would simply judge a person by his appearance or behaviours.

Furthermore

, commercials we see sometimes might not be the fact, it has often been exaggerated on the result to attract

people

to purchase a particular product.

For instance

, skincare companies often show how effective their products can cure certain skin problems within a short period of time, especially acne skin products. It is often implemented bombastic slogans and ingredients on the product, and most of the time the testimonials shown are from stock images. In my opinion, product marketing should be more realistic and accurate. I believe an exaggerated marketing strategy could bring several setbacks to audiences. Consumers believe most of the messages they read online

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if the ad they saw online was educating users to put blame on others whenever they encounter a problem, everyone in the world will be lacking self-awareness and ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

eventually

Add a comma

,eventually

show examples

the economy of the country will have plummeted.

Furthermore

, advertisers provide the wrong or unclear messages to drive sales. Some reckless business owners do not care about their consumers and all they do is brainwash the mindset of the audience. In my opinion, online marketing is not something we should

rely

Add the preposition

onrely

uponrely

show examples

much about. In conclusion,

although

advertisements provide important information to users,

however

, we should learn how to decide which information is correct to consume.

Submitted by yijiaa98 on Thu Feb 16 2023

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 2 - Example
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Production of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases has a heating effect on the atmosphere and results in global warming. Why global warming is considered one of the most serious issues nowadays? How can this problem be solved?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communication with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

Topic: The most important aim of science should improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree the statement?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than ot work for acompany or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?