Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this?

#hours #people #time #families #leisure #activities

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Employees in

persuit

Correct your spelling

pursuit

of higher pay and promotion stay at

work

Use synonyms

far too long.In fact, most workers choose challenging jobs which require more attention even if they are at home. In my opinion, the employed should spend their

time

Use synonyms

with their nearest and dearest rather than

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

work

Use synonyms

long hours. Almost everyone has someone to take care of: either elderly relatives or offspring. First of all, children need the attention and advice of their

parents

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, when they perform on the stage,

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

part in school or kindergarten concerts, do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

homework or form

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

a friendship

show examples

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

with someone.

Secondly

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

and children must spend quality

time

Use synonyms

together.

For instance

Linking Words

, they can construct or model something together like planes or castles and walk in the park together. For psychological

well-being

Add a comma

,well-being

show examples

it is very important to maintain good relations with

parents

Use synonyms

in childhood. Happy infancy is especially important

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when mothers are close to their infants and look after them with love. When people

work

Use synonyms

long hours they deprive themselves

from

Change the preposition

show examples

many pleasures of our life.

For example

Linking Words

, to have meals in a calm and relaxed atmosphere with friends or relatives but not on the go.

Also

Linking Words

, to visit a gym or swimming pool regularly, or in case someone goes there, not

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

have enough

time

Use synonyms

to recover after physical activities. One important reason not to

work

Use synonyms

more than 40 hours a week is a moral responsibility to protect old

parents

Use synonyms

. As a rule, the elderly are frail and gullible and may easily become the victims of dishonest individuals. In conclusion, despite certain benefits which a long working day may bring,

pshychological

Correct your spelling

psychological

well-being and mental health are more important. I think that high wages and

manager's

Correct article usage

a manager's

show examples

praises cannot be equal to quality

time

Use synonyms

with relations.

Submitted by telo3454 on Thu Feb 16 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Most employers nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skills are important in addition to good qualification for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

In some countries students pay the collage and universities fees themselves, but in other it is paid by the government. Do the advantages of government money outweigh the disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debts back. Do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?