Working hours today are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this?
Employees in
persuit
of higher pay and promotion stay at Correct your spelling
pursuit
work
far too long.In fact, most workers choose challenging jobs which require more attention even if they are at home. In my opinion, the employed should spend their time
with their nearest and dearest rather than to
Fix the infinitive
apply
work
long hours.
Almost everyone has someone to take care of: either elderly relatives or offspring. First of all, children need the attention and advice of their parents
. For example
, when they perform on the stage, taking
part in school or kindergarten concerts, do Wrong verb form
take
the
homework or form Correct article usage
apply
up
Change preposition
apply
Add an article
a friendship
friendship
with someone. Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
Secondly
,parents
and children must spend quality time
together. For instance
, they can construct or model something together like planes or castles and walk in the park together. For psychological well-being
it is very important to maintain good relations with Add a comma
,well-being
parents
in childhood. Happy infancy is especially important,
when mothers are close to their infants and look after them with love.
When people Remove the comma
apply
work
long hours they deprive themselves from
many pleasures of our life. Change the preposition
of
For example
, to have meals in a calm and relaxed atmosphere with friends or relatives but not on the go. Also
, to visit a gym or swimming pool regularly, or in case someone goes there, not to
have enough Fix the infinitive
apply
time
to recover after physical activities. One important reason not to work
more than 40 hours a week is a moral responsibility to protect old parents
. As a rule, the elderly are frail and gullible and may easily become the victims of dishonest individuals.
In conclusion, despite certain benefits which a long working day may bring, pshychological
well-being and mental health are more important. I think that high wages and Correct your spelling
psychological
manager's
praises cannot be equal to quality Correct article usage
a manager's
time
with relations.Submitted by telo3454 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite