IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Children should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #prison #adults #matter #crime
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The question of whether
children
Use synonyms
 should ever be put in
prison
Use synonyms
 with
adults
Use synonyms
, regardless of the seriousness of their
crime
Use synonyms
, is a complex and contentious issue.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that it is necessary to treat juvenile
offenders
Use synonyms
 as
adults
Use synonyms
 in certain cases, I firmly believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should never be put in
prison
Use synonyms
 with
adults
Use synonyms
, regardless of the nature of their
crime
Use synonyms
. There are several reasons why it is important to keep
children
Use synonyms
 separate from
adult
Use synonyms
prisoners
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 are still in the process of developing their cognitive and emotional capacities, and as
such
Linking Words
 are more vulnerable to negative influences and abuse in a
prison
Use synonyms
 environment. Placing them in the same facility as
adult
Use synonyms
offenders
Use synonyms
, who may be more hardened and experienced in criminal behaviour, can expose them to physical and psychological harm, and exacerbate the likelihood of re-offending.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 have different needs than
adult
Use synonyms
prisoners
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and require specialized attention and care to help them reform and rehabilitate.
This
Linking Words
 includes education, therapy, and other forms of support that may not be available in an
adult
Use synonyms
prison
Use synonyms
 environment. By separating
children
Use synonyms
 from
adult
Use synonyms
prisoners
Use synonyms
, it is possible to provide them with the resources and services that they need to effectively reintegrate into society and lead productive lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is important to recognize that
children
Use synonyms
 who commit crimes are often the product of difficult and complex circumstances,
such
Linking Words
 as poverty, abuse, and neglect. Placing them in
prison
Use synonyms
 with
adult
Use synonyms
offenders
Use synonyms
 fails to address the root causes of their behaviour, and can perpetuate a cycle of
crime
Use synonyms
 and victimization.
Instead
Linking Words
, we should be investing in community-based programs and initiatives that provide young people with the support and guidance they need to make positive choices and avoid criminal activity. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should never be put in
prison
Use synonyms
 with
adults
Use synonyms
, regardless of the seriousness of their
crime
Use synonyms
. The unique needs and vulnerabilities of young
offenders
Use synonyms
 require specialized attention and care, and separating them from
adult
Use synonyms
prisoners
Use synonyms
 is essential for their safety and well-being.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by investing in community-based programs and initiatives, we can address the underlying causes of juvenile
crime
Use synonyms
 and help young people to build productive and fulfilling lives.
Submitted by Slavs.96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: