IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Children should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #prison #adults #matter #crime
The question of whether
children
 should ever be put in
prison
 with
adults
, regardless of the seriousness of their
crime
, is a complex and contentious issue.
While
 some argue that it is necessary to treat juvenile
offenders
 as
adults
 in certain cases, I firmly believe that
children
 should never be put in
prison
 with
adults
, regardless of the nature of their
crime
. There are several reasons why it is important to keep
children
 separate from
adult
prisoners
.
Firstly
,
children
 are still in the process of developing their cognitive and emotional capacities, and as
such
 are more vulnerable to negative influences and abuse in a
prison
 environment. Placing them in the same facility as
adult
offenders
, who may be more hardened and experienced in criminal behaviour, can expose them to physical and psychological harm, and exacerbate the likelihood of re-offending.
Furthermore
,
children
 have different needs than
adult
prisoners
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and require specialized attention and care to help them reform and rehabilitate.
This
 includes education, therapy, and other forms of support that may not be available in an
adult
prison
 environment. By separating
children
 from
adult
prisoners
, it is possible to provide them with the resources and services that they need to effectively reintegrate into society and lead productive lives.
Moreover
, it is important to recognize that
children
 who commit crimes are often the product of difficult and complex circumstances,
such
 as poverty, abuse, and neglect. Placing them in
prison
 with
adult
offenders
 fails to address the root causes of their behaviour, and can perpetuate a cycle of
crime
 and victimization.
Instead
, we should be investing in community-based programs and initiatives that provide young people with the support and guidance they need to make positive choices and avoid criminal activity. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
children
 should never be put in
prison
 with
adults
, regardless of the seriousness of their
crime
. The unique needs and vulnerabilities of young
offenders
 require specialized attention and care, and separating them from
adult
prisoners
 is essential for their safety and well-being.
Moreover
, by investing in community-based programs and initiatives, we can address the underlying causes of juvenile
crime
 and help young people to build productive and fulfilling lives.
Submitted by Slavs.96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: