IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
In today's society, it is ubiquitous to notice that youngsters spend hours on their
smartphones
 on a daily basis .The essay will point out that the reasons related to
this
 tendency are an increase in access to modern gadgets and figure out that
this
 trend is still regarded as a helpful development.
To begin
 with , it is obvious that nowadays children are living in an era in which artificial intelligence and advanced technology are constantly developing ,so
smartphones
 are widely used by people of all ages , especially teenagers .
This
 is because
this
 device is not convenient but
also
 accessible to many powerful platforms and eye-catching games .
As a result
 , children are more inclined to spend almost a day playing games on
smartphones
 which has an adverse effect on both their physical and mental health .Another reason is that juveniles are influenced by many popular social platforms ,
such
 as Facebook or Instagram.Needless to say , after long-term exposure to these websites , they find it hard to stop using their phones .
However
 , it is not true that the tendency of spending a large amount of time utilizing phones among youngsters is negative .As a matter of fact , children can use their state-of-the-art gadgets with a view to broadening their horizons by learning through educational apps or programmes .
Furthermore
, they can have a myriad of opportunities to strike up new relationships by partaking in online courses and virtual meetings , which can be beneficial to their future career. In conclusion ,
although
 there is a range of reasons why a number of teenagers spend time using their
smartphones
 , mostly connected to the convenience and easy access to these devices , I strongly believe that
this
 tendency is still a positive development for youngsters in the long run because if given proper guidance , mobile phones can help them a lot both in their studying
as well as
 their lives.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: