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Band 7

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters
In order to save time on transport to
work
, some people harbour a belief that
parks
 and
gardens
 that are close to the
city
centres
 should be replaced by apartment buildings whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. From my perspective, I am inclined to stand neutrally with both opinions as it is a good way to reduce time on travelling to
work
 but the importance of
parks
 and
gardens
also
 cannot be ignored.
Initially
 , the transportation time to
work
 can be efficiently saved when citizens have more chances to live in the
city
centres
 so the occupation of
parks
 and
gardens
 should be decreased. As spaces in
city
centres
 are generally inadequate for living, there is no way but to sacrifice some facilities like
parks
 and
gardens
 which are relatively non-essential.
Besides
, they usually have large coverage
due to
 their huge capacity.
Therefore
, when some of the infrastructure is removed, the areas for housing will be considerably increased. At the other end of the spectrum,
parks
 and
gardens
 have vital roles to play in daily life. Not only children can let off steam there but
also
 adults can find places to relieve stress after a hard working day.
Moreover
,
city
centres
 are usually crowded which is prone to raising citizens' anxiety.
Thus
, the existence of
parks
 and
gardens
 is crucial to building up a healthy community.
To sum up
, despite the fact that altering
parks
 and
gardens
 to apartment buildings can solve the problem of long distances to
work
, the significance of urban green spaces cannot be denied.
Hence
, it is essential to implement an optimal distribution of urban plans so as to strike a balance between both sides.
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Task Achievement
To enhance your essay and achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure you provide a more comprehensive discussion of both viewpoints. Including more specific examples and detailed explanations will deepen your analysis and make your argument more convincing. Additionally, explicitly stating your own opinion and elaborating on it could significantly strengthen your overall response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect your ideas throughout the essay. Also, consider organizing your paragraphs more strategically to enhance the logical flow of your argument. This might involve positioning your strongest points or most detailed examples in a way that maximizes their impact on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
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