Many government thinks that economic progress is their most important goals, some people however thinks that other progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#government #progress #goals #people #country

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Since the industrial revolution, human society adopted capitalism as a mainstream social system. Nowadays, we tend to value countries whether they are developed or not, based on their economic progress.

On the other hand

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, there are people discussing that other progresses are

also

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important as an economical one. South Korea will be a great example of

this

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issue since we developed the economy drastically. Each

Korean

Use synonyms

was barely earning one dollar a day back in the 1950s after we had the

Korean

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war. Through big projects

such

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as "Miracle of Han river", we could reach the current financial stability. Now South Korea is known as a country with highly developed technologies and unique culture. Without economic progress, we probably couldn't be recognised globally as we are now.

However

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, from the rapid development, there were

also

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side effects. Basically, each people were treated as a part of a factory, not a human being. Back

then

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, money was a priority for the South

Korean

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government. There was

this

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one young man, Jeon Tae-il. He was a factory worker who was concerned about his overworking young co-workers. He fought back against the toxic work environment. Eventually, he burnt himself from protesting. Like him, young men and women got hurt in the economic-centred system. The wound is still there. South

Korean

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society is still suffering from these issues.

Last

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year, a 23-year-old woman died at a major bakery factory. She was exhausted from overworking. Still, lots of people believe money matters

first,

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because that's how the government taught us. I believe that we should value other progresses equally with economic progress and stop valuing everything based on money. What we should aim for is our happiness and well-being, not the number on the paper.

Submitted by lylajeehyunkim on Sat Feb 18 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

290 words

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Many government thinks that economic progress is their most important goals, some people however thinks that other progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that testing on animals is necessary for discovering medicine that helps fight diseases, while others believe it is not necessary to test on animals for this reason. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.