IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some countries import a large amount of food from other parts of the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative trend?

#countries #import #amount #food #parts #world #trend
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Nowadays, the advancement of transportation makes a
possibility
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possible
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for transporting
Change preposition
to transport
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food
Use synonyms
 from other countries.
Therefore
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, many nations try to import foreign dishes massively,
while
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 I assume that it will cause some negative effects on the local societies.
To begin
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 with, the increase in imported cuisines could generate a significant decrease in the demand for local
food
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 since citizens believe that international foods are more modern
rather
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apply
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than their local
food
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. Because of that, the inhabitants have a tendency to spend their money on buying foreign meals, leading economic conditions to be unstable because the national money could not rotate in
this
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 sector.
Moreover
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, native employees who work in the
food
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 sector will be impacted by
this
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 situation, and resulted in their occupations will be lost.
For instance
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, Indonesia is an agricultural country who have an abundance of spices,
while
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 the local inhabitants assume that spices are very traditional in
this
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 era and prefer to consume imported vegetables.
This
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 condition affects the indigenous farmers losing their jobs, and causing social and economic problems.
In addition
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, because the country imports a large amount of international
food
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 leads the citizens do have not a high level of nationality because they are provided with many options for foreign
food
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.
Thus
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, native
food
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 will be threatened by foreign meals, becoming unpopular and not attractive,
whereas
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 local dishes are a part of the indigenous cultures.
Furthermore
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, if people tend to choose a foreign dish, they will lose their national identity which will impact the diversity of traditions.
For example
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, World Records released Rendang as the most popular meal in Indonesia in 2015,
although
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due to
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 globalization, the government
import
Wrong verb form
imported
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 a lot of snacks from Korea, and Rendang was replaced by Korean foods in 2021, becoming the best-selling dish in Indonesia.
To sum up
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, foreign cuisines could affect negatively local people since it makes the nationality of the inhabitants decline significantly and brings social and economic issues for the country. If possible the government should be involved to prevent those effects and try to promote their local meals at the international level.
Submitted by muh.yassirullah on

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task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents detailed reasons to support your viewpoint. However, some parts of the essay lack clarity and coherence, and there is room for improvement in providing a complete response to the task and using relevant specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph connects logically to the next, and use transition words and phrases to create cohesion and coherence in your writing.
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