Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person

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Many hold the belief that money and assets are good indicators to define a successful person. I espouse that

success

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cannot be solely determined by wealth and someone’s achievement depends on their individual accomplishments and contentment. In regards to

success

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and accomplishments, majority of the

people

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argue that money and assets someone possesses are good measuring tools.

In other words

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, in

this

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modern world,

people

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have a tendency to appreciate individuals who are financially wealthy.

Although

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there are many learned scholars who have accomplished many achievements academically, their achievements are not always popular among

people

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but a wealthy person is well accepted by many. Nicholas Tesla,

for instance

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, was not recognized by

people

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of his time.

However

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, Thomas Edison, an entrepreneur-scientist, was famous among them because of his financial background. Despite all these factors, I believe that

success

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should not be materialistic .

Conversely

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, opposing

this

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argument, I hold the opinion that the estimation of

success

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should be individualized. To explain

further

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success

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should be based on someone’s internal satisfaction and should not be judged by others. Someone can be not wealthy but he can be content with his own achievements.

This

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is because there are many

people

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around the world who have earned mind-blowing amounts of wealth but do not have internal satisfaction in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For example

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, Abdul Kalam, a famous Indian scientist, held his head

always

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apply

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high not because of his wealth but because of his inventions, and he is considered one of the greatest to ever live in the country.

To conclude

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, though there is a popular opinion that financial status defines

success

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I believe that measurement of

success

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should be based on someone’s self-satisfaction and not solely on their financial

success

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Submitted by mnasanjith on Sun Feb 19 2023

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Task Achievement

The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both sides of the argument and offering a strong conclusion. It effectively presents and supports relevant main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion with a logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, and main points are supported with relevant examples.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Spending money on luxury items or special occasions is very expensive. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?