The growing number of overweight people is putting people a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days the population of overweight people has been escalating at an alarming rate.

This

issue has caused many

health

problems

thus

putting pressure on the healthcare system. Some people are of the view that the key to solving

such

a problem is by increasing

sports

and exercise classes in school. I completely agree that

this

is the best way to resolve the problem of worsening public

health

in relation to weight.

To begin

with, we should take a long-term approach by introducing more exercises in school.

This

is significant to deal with the issue of obesity.

Such

a method would ensure that the

children

will be

Change the word

apply

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healthier.

This

in turn would

also

prevent various types of

health

diseases

such

as diabetes, hypertension and heart diseases. At present, most

children

around the world are living a sedentary lifestyle. They seldom engage in

sports

perhaps twice a week. It is insufficient in keeping their body healthy.

Thus

, by incorporating more engaging

sports

education in school curriculums, the

children

would be fitter and more active.

Furthermore

, having more physical fitness classes might help spark interest among

children

in engaging in more exercises. The interest may allure other family members and it has a long-lasting effect.

In other words

, parents with an energetic child will be more engaged in

sports

as a way of motivating their child. By having both parties involved,

children

are more likely to indulge in healthy lifestyles in their future daily lives.

This

is,

therefore

, undoubtedly the most natural and the best way to improve the

overall

health

condition of the public. In conclusion, I undoubtedly agree that introducing more physical education in constitutions is crucial for future generations.

This

solution though seemingly simple

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apply

show examples

however

effective in dealing with a rising population of unfit and overweight people.

Submitted by maryamjamiela98 on Sun Feb 19 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include : &Where you stayed. & What the problems were. & How they can fix your complaints.

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think that politicians should always be honest while others feel that there are times when they must lie. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.