In many countries students are engaged in some sort of paid work . Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. What is your opinion?

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Some people state that
students
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should focus on school work,
while
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I believe getting paid for a job would be an essential and precious experience for them.
This
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is because they can explore the careers they desire, and learn to be responsible for themselves. The first reason is that
students
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often don't understand the differences between their college classes and the
real-job
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real job
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applications. They may fall into the trap of assuming their work would be very similar to what they had learned. In that case, it would be a disaster to find out they actually aren't suitable for their
jobs
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, which is a waste of time.
For example
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, some
students
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in the computer science department started to know the actual work of engineers by applying for short-term internships, which
is
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are
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required by some colleges.
Secondly
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,
students
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can have a taste of taking responsibility. It would be a whole new level of pressure for them because they are paid to do the
jobs
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. They earn money from their companies, and that puts them under direct pressure since it's their duty to finish the
jobs
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well. In my opinion, learning to take the duties is crucial for their living, because their parents would leave them eventually.
For instance
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, a lot of
students
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have part-time
jobs
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.
This
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is not only because they want to get extra money, but
also
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because they wish to be independent. For the above reasons, I strongly suggest that
students
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should get paid
jobs
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. They not only become more mature but save their time wondering what they really want for their careers.
Submitted by sophialin61328 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents both perspectives and states your opinion clearly to set the stage for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Develop a more explicit conclusion to summarize your main points and reaffirm your opinion.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to thoroughly support your arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively communicates your opinion on the topic, presenting arguments for why students should engage in paid work.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a logical flow of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Your writing displays a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic and arguments, with good use of complex structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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