Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”
It is often argued that
prison
should be the only punishment for all lawbreakers, while
others think that there are better alternatives. This
essay will discuss both views, before coming to the conclusion that both are equally valid.
Firstly
, prison
is definitely a good form of punishment for any kind of law-breaking. In other words
, people
sometimes don't care about the law because of light punishments, such
as 5$ for overspeeding, 10$ for parking faults, 200$ for driving with alcohol etc. These kind of penalties make people
not to care about the law. The government can put them in prison
for a minimum of 2 hours to a lifetime, depending on the crime category. Furthermore
, people
should feel the loneliness of prison
that can prevent them from repeating the same mistake. For example
, In Bangladesh, the government has revised currency penalties to prison
against some categories of law-breaking.
On the other hand
, prison
has some severe bad impacts on our personal life. For instance
, a man or woman can be humiliated socially. In society, people
generally see them negatively and abandon them from different social activities or invitations, like marriages, birthday programs, religious programs etc. Punishment in prison
against small faults, may ruin someone's career due to
depression, demotivation etc. and lead them into drug addiction.
In conclusion, both statements have negative and positive views. I believe that some balanced punishments can be implemented for equilibrium which allows people
to feel the worst sides of the faults and not to repeat that again.Submitted by tanvir0507 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical progression of ideas. While an attempt to organize the essay into separate viewpoints is evident, the progression from one idea to another is not always smooth or logical.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, and they demonstrate a basic structure, but the introduction could better outline the forthcoming discussion, and the conclusion should more effectively summarize the arguments provided.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes an attempt to support main points with examples or explanation, but these are often not fully developed or convincing.
task achievement
The response addresses the task given, but the answer is not fully extended. There is a need to delve deeper into the discussion, fully exploring and developing each viewpoint.
task achievement
Some ideas are presented, but they lack comprehensive development and depth. The candidate should aim to explain ideas fully and provide more detailed arguments.
task achievement
Specific examples are somewhat lacking or not effectively used to support the arguments. More relevant and detailed examples would strengthen the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?