shops should not be allowed to sell any foods or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people's health

Commercial
stores
that have perishable items consisting of chemicals have to stop selling to the consumer, especially if it is proven by the experts that it will cause
people
's
health
in danger. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
we will discuss the importance of economics and
people
’s
health
, as most of us blame the national
government
for what is happening in our surroundings, These past few years, junk food has been very famous in all small
stores
, especially for children. They find it mouth watery to eat.
However
, these kinds of
products
have some chemicals that are not good for your body, but
stores
keep on selling for profit. The
government
cannot ban it as it will help them to grow,
for example
, cigarettes and alcohol. Consumers are fully aware that consuming them is a danger to their
health
, yet we are still patronizing these
products
.
Although
the
government
and store owners are aware of the causes,
this
company couldn’t stop supplying them as they are one of the highest
contributions
Replace the word
contributors
show examples
to profit. The
government
can only warn the
people
about the disadvantages that it will cause to their
health
. Moving forward, it will always depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
they will live. Discipline is always the key to everything. We cannot stop commercial
stores
selling
Change preposition
from selling
show examples
some
products
that are prohibited as they only want to make a profit and live their lives.
Moreover
,
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
have the power to choose and stop purchasing these kinds of
products
. In conclusion, national governments are looking for possibilities and seeing
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
way options for everything, not only for
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
but for
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
and safety. Our contribution is to be open-minded and make the right choice.
In addition
, if no one is buying these prohibited items, for sure it will stop producing and selling in all the markets.
Submitted by miemieperez on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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