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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There is a mixture of people from different cultures and ethnic groups in a country. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

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Recent years have witnessed the staggering
development
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 of globalization. Nowadays, it is common to see people from different cultures and ethnic groups coexist in a given nation. From my perspective, the reasons are multidimensional and it is a positive
development
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. The root causes of
this
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 phenomenon can be various.
To begin
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 with, a multicultural society is one of the results of technological
development
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. With the advent of the Internet, geographical barriers have almost gone with the wind and information can be disseminated effectively. Since people get more exposure to the splendid culture and history of other regions, they might travel or migrate to other
countries
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 and choose the country in which they love to put their roots.
Furthermore
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, the coexistence of individuals from different nations can be ascribed to the prevalence of overseas education. A soaring number of students plan to study abroad
due to
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 abundant educational resources and job opportunities, which indeed exacerbates
this
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 trend. Undoubtedly,
this
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development
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 will exert some positive effects on society. To a certain extent,
this
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 trend can alleviate cultural conflicts. Higher population mobility can facilitate cultural exchanges. Since the masses have more chances to communicate with others from different cultural backgrounds, mutual understanding can be built;
consequently
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, bias, stereotypes and inveterate prejudice can be mitigated. In a long run, the whole society will become more enlightening and inclusive.
In addition
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, the mixed population can contribute to economic prosperity. For some
countries
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, immigration is an essential part of the labour force. Provided that people are confined in their own country or city, it will lead to a shortage of labour in some developed
countries
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, which might be detrimental to the economic
development
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 of the whole world. In conclusion, the causes of the emergency of multicultural
countries
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 are manifold, and it is beneficial to the advancement of each country and globalization as well.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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