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Writing Samples
Band 7

Educating young peaple is naturally important, However, some think governments ought to invest more education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#peaple #think #governments #education #adults
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The significance of
education
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 has been underscored over the past decades.
While
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 the question of whether educating young people is inherently essential persists, some argue that authorities should allocate more resources to educate adults in need. In my view, governments should prioritize investing in youth
education
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 to a considerable extent,
while
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 not neglecting the importance of
adult
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education
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. Undoubtedly, young individuals possess ample time for learning, primarily through formal
education
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 at schools.
This
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 dedicated time fosters comprehensive growth, equipping them with both academic knowledge and essential
life
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 skills.
Consequently
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, it cultivates responsible citizenship, crucial for their future contributions to society.
Moreover
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, the far-reaching impacts of
education
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 on children's lives cannot be overstated. Research indicates that well-educated children have access to a plethora of opportunities, including higher
education
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, lucrative employment prospects, and professional certifications, compared to their less-educated counterparts.
Nonetheless
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, the necessity for
adult
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education
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 remains undeniable. Many adults lack foundational knowledge and practical
life
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 skills, hindering their ability to navigate
life
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's challenges.
Consequently
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, they often grapple with low wages, unstable employment, and societal discrimination, perpetuating a cycle of poverty and diminished quality of
life
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. In conclusion,
while
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 acknowledging the importance of
adult
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education
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, I maintain that governments should prioritize investing in youth
education
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.
This
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 approach ensures the holistic development of the younger generation, setting them on a path towards personal fulfilment and societal contribution.
However
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, simultaneous efforts should be made to provide accessible and comprehensive
adult
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education
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 programs, thereby empowering individuals of all ages to thrive in an ever-changing world.
Submitted by subin12260 on

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task response
While your essay showcases a clear and comprehensive understanding, incorporating more varied and detailed examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider enriching your essay with a broader range of complex structures and vocabulary to enhance its sophistication.
coherence and cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids readability.
task response
You precisely addressed the task given and presented a well-reasoned stance with supporting points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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