The diagram below shows how solar panels can be used to provide electricity for domestic use.

The diagram below shows how solar panels can be used to provide electricity for domestic use.
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The diagram illustrates how to make a store to keep concrete canvas.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there are several states to make it, starting with material and ending with storing. There have 2 processes done at the same time, preparing unwrapping material and another is the manufacturing process that canvas concrete will be made, a piece of concrete is comprised of 3 layers, a fibrous top surface, dry concrete and water
prove
Replace the word
proof
show examples
layer and
then
Linking Words
, both state delivered in a truck. In the fourth step, material from the first state is roped with a truck for spreading on the ground wide around 10 square metres and being structured by pegs.
Next,
Linking Words
air
Correct article usage
an air
show examples
pump machine will be used to put air out from the underground space before the watering process pours around the underground covered space.
Last
Linking Words
but not least, set a suitable storage area for 20-24 hours before the
last
Linking Words
step to keep the concretes inside.
Submitted by k.kamonkan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Photovoltaic cells
  • Direct Current (DC)
  • Alternating Current (AC)
  • Inverter
  • Electric panel
  • Utility meter
  • Electric grid
  • Energy storage
  • Renewable energy
  • Sustainable
  • Excess electricity
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