IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is the job of governments and companies is to deal with the huge environmental problems which we face. Individuals on their own can do little or nothing. What is your opinion about this statement?

#job #governments #companies #face #individuals
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A number of
people
Use synonyms
 advocate that the authorities and organizations should bear the entire responsibility
in
Change preposition
for
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 solving
environemental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues.
Moreover
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, individuals like citizens only can contribute little
in
Change preposition
to
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 improving the
enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
. I totally agree with the above statement and
this
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 essay will explain
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two major reasons. First and foremost, governments are empowered to regulate policy to promote
environmentally-friendly
Correct article usage
an environmentally-friendly
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 society
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and monitor the citizens to follow the regulations.
According to
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 survey conducted by Hong Kong University in 2017, 67% of residents
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in Mong Kok are annoyed by the excessive artificial light.
The light
Correct article usage
Light
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 pollution influences
people
Use synonyms
's daily routine and quality of living since night becomes day. In fact, the authorities play a vital role
to consider
Change preposition
in considering
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 the efficient and feasible way to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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light pollution. Later on,
Hong
Correct article usage
the Hong
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 Kong environment took action in controlling the brightness of advertisement
board
Fix the agreement mistake
boards
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 in several districts
such
Linking Words
 as Mong Kok, Causeway Bay and Tsim Sha Tsui. Companies have lowered the brightness of the advertisement board after
11'oclock
Correct your spelling
11 o'clock
 in the evening since
Hong
Correct article usage
the Hong
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 Kong
government
Use synonyms
 announced the new policy of street advertisement. It shows that governments and
instituitions
Correct your spelling
institutions
 tackle the problem
collboratively
Correct your spelling
collaboratively
. It is true to say that
people
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 contribute to
build
Change the verb form
building
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 up a better environment, but in fact,
people
Use synonyms
 only obey the law so
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 are more influential than
people
Use synonyms
 do. In order to deal with abundant
diposal
Correct your spelling
disposal
, the
government
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 has imposed the disposal tax policy to the public in 2024. It is compulsory for residents to purchase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recognized garbage bags when throwing rubbish.
As a result
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, the number of trash produced will be reduced after implementing the legislation. Hopefully,
this
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 not
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also
Rephrase
only
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 encourages pupils to recycle or find ways to reuse their waste, but
also
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reinforce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reinforces
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 the factories to produce less manufacturing waste.
Needles
Correct your spelling
Needless
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 to say the environmental impacts of
landfill
Add an article
the landfill
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 would be solved gradually if the
government
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 carries out effective
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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.
To conclude
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, governments and organizations are the leaders
to figure
Change preposition
in figuring
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 out the solution to solve diverse environmental problems in
the
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apply
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society. Meanwhile,
people
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 are governed to follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
particular rules to foster
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 living environment.
Submitted by thirdaccforevelyn on

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task achievement
Make sure to address any opposing views briefly to strengthen your argument. This adds depth to the essay and shows full engagement with the task.
coherence cohesion
Try to reduce minor errors in spelling and grammar, such as 'enviorment' which should be 'environment', for a more polished essay.
task achievement
Consider providing additional examples or elaborating on existing ones for a richer, more comprehensive discussion.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear and strong introduction that effectively sets the stage for your arguments.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph progressing smoothly to the next, contributing to coherence.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, such as the Hong Kong light pollution, effectively support your main points and demonstrate your argument well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable infrastructure
  • emissions
  • pollution
  • green technology
  • consumer behavior
  • public awareness
  • environmentally friendly
  • grassroots movements
  • collaborative efforts
  • regulate industries
  • invest in
  • implement policies
What to do next:
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