IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

#meat #diet
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As we know,One of the most controversial issues around the world is health. Meanwhile,some people believe,to have a healthy body everyone should be vegetarian.I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement.because there are several merit and demerit
in
Change preposition
to
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vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
the vegetarian
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diet
.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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both views with some examples. It is well-established fact that our bodies need some
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
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 to be healthy and stable.vegetables and plants first of all,help our bodies feel
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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fresh and lively.vegetables have
also
 many minerals and vitamins and they are full of water that they are not only suitable for bodies but
also
 they are useful for skins.
in addition
, vegetarians can gain protein and
vitamin
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vitamins
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 from some plants
forexample
Correct your spelling
for example
,
bean
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beans
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,
pea
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peas
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 and soybean.
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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 vegetarians typically have
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
diet
 because their
diet
are
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is
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 low in fat .and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 reduce the risk of heart attacks and it is one of the best way
control
Fix the infinitive
to control
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 weight and obesity.
On the other hand
,nutritionists recommend people should eat
meat
 and vegetable equally.first and foremost,our body
require
Change the verb form
requires
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 protein and supplement to build muscles that they are only in
meat
 and animal products
such
 as milk or egg.
secondly
, we need some kinds of
meat
such
 as beef,lamb,chicken or fish which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are full of valuable and vital ingredients that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are necessary to have a healthy body and sound physical structure.
Besides
,some researches demonstrate
meat
 eaters are more energetic and active.
To sum up
,In my perspective,with
combination
Add an article
a combination
the combination
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 of
meat
 and vegetable and
add
Wrong verb form
adding
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 both of them to our daily routine
diet
 we can gain the desired result.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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