IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

#meat #diet
As we know,One of the most controversial issues around the world is health. Meanwhile,some people believe,to have a healthy body everyone should be vegetarian.I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement.because there are several merit and demerit
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
vegetarian
Add an article
a vegetarian
the vegetarian
show examples
diet
.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both views with some examples. It is well-established fact that our bodies need some
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
show examples
 to be healthy and stable.vegetables and plants first of all,help our bodies feel
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
fresh and lively.vegetables have
also
 many minerals and vitamins and they are full of water that they are not only suitable for bodies but
also
 they are useful for skins.
in addition
, vegetarians can gain protein and
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
show examples
 from some plants
forexample
Correct your spelling
for example
,
bean
Fix the agreement mistake
beans
show examples
,
pea
Fix the agreement mistake
peas
show examples
 and soybean.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 vegetarians typically have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet
 because their
diet
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 low in fat .and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 reduce the risk of heart attacks and it is one of the best way
control
Fix the infinitive
to control
show examples
 weight and obesity.
On the other hand
,nutritionists recommend people should eat
meat
 and vegetable equally.first and foremost,our body
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 protein and supplement to build muscles that they are only in
meat
 and animal products
such
 as milk or egg.
secondly
, we need some kinds of
meat
such
 as beef,lamb,chicken or fish which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are full of valuable and vital ingredients that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are necessary to have a healthy body and sound physical structure.
Besides
,some researches demonstrate
meat
 eaters are more energetic and active.
To sum up
,In my perspective,with
combination
Add an article
a combination
the combination
show examples
 of
meat
 and vegetable and
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
 both of them to our daily routine
diet
 we can gain the desired result.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: