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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that teenager should always follow the examples of older people, whereas some believe it is natural in teenager to challenge what old people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Examining everyone's suggestions before considering the final decision is a sign of a decent gentleman. In
this
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 regard, many people claim that genZ should learn from senior citizens
while
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 others reject
this
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 notion and argue that nowadays, the younger generation disrespects older people's instructions.
This
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 substantial influence of
this
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 debate has sparked controversy. In my opinion, to become a successful person young one should adopt advice from their grandparents.
This
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 essay will
further
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 elaborate on both perspectives and
this
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 will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
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, the first and foremost reason behind the rude behaviour of teenagers is that they often believe they have achieved enough knowledge and understanding to survive in hazardous situations. A sense of superiority in their mindset and frequent hormonal changes at a young age often leads to disrespectful behaviour toward the elder community and other experienced family members.
For example
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, psychological studies show that folk aged between 16 to 18 believe they have enhanced sufficient experience in real-world problems and pursued enough strength to tackle multiple challenges.
This
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 attitude portrays a self-centred personality and stubborn behaviour, which ultimately leads to failure in the most challenging situations. There are myriad reasons which describe why suggestions from the older population are beneficial for teens. One key reason is that senior citizen have gone through numerous critical situations and they have faced many ups and downs throughout their life journey.
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, instructions from experienced individuals facilitate better career guidance and enhance multiple ways of problem-solving expertise, which fosters youth development and
overall
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 well-being.
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, as per Indian tradition, young family members frequently seek guidance from their grandparents on matters
such
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 as spiritual beliefs, educational choices, and business decisions. The younger generation often considers
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 advice a blessing, which, over time, leads to fruitful results.
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, it is apparent why many favour
this
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 trend. To recapitulate,
according to
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 the arguments and aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that it is natural for teenagers to challenge authority.
Nevertheless
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, the guidance of older individuals plays a crucial role in their growth and success.

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task achievement
While your introduction is effective, consider rephrasing to enhance clarity. Instead of 'this substantial influence of this debate has sparked controversy,' you might say 'this ongoing debate has led to differing opinions.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to your thesis statement. For instance, in the second paragraph, explicitly indicate how the behavior of teenagers ties into the larger theme of seeking advice from older generations.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, include more examples in the second body paragraph that showcase how advice from older generations has positively impacted young people. This can reinforce your main points.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear viewpoint and attempts to address both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples to support your points, which enhances the strength of your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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