Technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Owning to the fact that societies are changing constantly and witnessing an increasing number of technological advancements.
As a result
, more and more
kids
gravitate towards spending their spare time with technology nowadays, which is a different story from what it was in the past.
However
, in my opinion,
this
can do more harm than good. First and foremost, approaching electronic devices from an early age could develop the self-study ability of
kids
and stand a chance of entertaining
as well as
enriching their knowledge.
For example
, there is a range of educational videos from some social platforms
such
as Youtube or Tiktok, which could be seen as a variety of information that they could learn anything they wish
while
they are having a sense of relaxation.
However
, despite the aforementioned benefits, I would contend that
this
could engender some valid concerns. Children are gradually reducing the time they spend on sports or outdoor activities because of the appeal of electronic devices namely computers, tablets, smartphones, etc. It not only leads to a sedentary lifestyle but
also
has many adverse bearings on their well-being.
For instance
, they could suffer from back pain or eye problems caused by the light of screens.
On the other hand
,
due to
the fact that the young lean towards using technology as a means to unwind, they tend to lose the connection with their families or their peers.
Instead
of talking directly or sharing their daily stories with other people, they are inclined to sit in front of the computer to play games for hours. If the connection between
kids
and adults is lost, it may lead to a plethora of potent risks since the lack of conversations makes parents feel difficult to understand their offspring. They do not know about the dreams or problems of their
kids
so they do not have any strategy to help them achieve goals or overcome obstacles. In conclusion,
while
this
phenomenon is valid to a certain extent, I believe that technologies cause a number of significant drawbacks to the well-being of children if they allocate their free time completely to electronic devices.
Submitted by miahuynhh79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital literacy
  • Cyberbullying
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Inappropriate content
  • Self-learning
  • Screen time
  • Social inequality
  • Enhanced communication
  • Creative expression
  • Educational resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: