Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's world, social
media
platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram play a significant role in the lives of young
people
.
While
some argue that these platforms have a negative impact on their ability to form personal
relationships
, others believe they bring
people
together in beneficial ways. On the positive side, social
media
allows young
people
to connect with friends and family regardless of distance.
This
helps maintain
relationships
and fosters a sense of belonging.
Additionally
, social
media
provides a platform for sharing ideas, experiences, and interests, which can lead to new friendships and learning opportunities.
However
, there are drawbacks to consider. Excessive use of social
media
can lead to reduced face-to-face interactions, affecting the quality of personal
relationships
.
Moreover
, constantly comparing oneself to others' seemingly perfect lives on social
media
can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Another concern is the rise of cyberbullying on social
media
platforms. Young
people
may experience harassment or negative comments, which can have a detrimental effect on their mental health and well-being.To mitigate these issues, it's vital for young
people
to use social
media
responsibly.
This
includes setting limits on screen time, being mindful of the content they consume and share, and fostering offline connections through meaningful face-to-face interactions. In conclusion,
while
social
media
has its benefits in connecting
people
and sharing experiences, its negative impact on personal
relationships
and mental health cannot be ignored. Youngsters should strive for a balanced approach to social
media
usage to maintain healthy
relationships
and well-being.
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task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples to support your points. While the essay addresses the question, including more concrete examples can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more varied structure in your paragraphs. Try to balance the pros and cons more evenly to provide a comprehensive overview.
task achievement
It's beneficial to add a personal opinion more clearly. While you discussed both views, making your stance more evident would enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've done a great job creating a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay nicely and makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively used linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, contributing greatly to the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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