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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #media #sites #facebook #twitter #impact #ability #form #relationships
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In today's world, social
media
 platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram play a significant role in the lives of young
people
.
While
 some argue that these platforms have a negative impact on their ability to form personal
relationships
, others believe they bring
people
 together in beneficial ways. On the positive side, social
media
 allows young
people
 to connect with friends and family regardless of distance.
This
 helps maintain
relationships
 and fosters a sense of belonging.
Additionally
, social
media
 provides a platform for sharing ideas, experiences, and interests, which can lead to new friendships and learning opportunities.
However
, there are drawbacks to consider. Excessive use of social
media
 can lead to reduced face-to-face interactions, affecting the quality of personal
relationships
.
Moreover
, constantly comparing oneself to others' seemingly perfect lives on social
media
 can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Another concern is the rise of cyberbullying on social
media
 platforms. Young
people
 may experience harassment or negative comments, which can have a detrimental effect on their mental health and well-being.To mitigate these issues, it's vital for young
people
 to use social
media
 responsibly.
This
 includes setting limits on screen time, being mindful of the content they consume and share, and fostering offline connections through meaningful face-to-face interactions. In conclusion,
while
 social
media
 has its benefits in connecting
people
 and sharing experiences, its negative impact on personal
relationships
 and mental health cannot be ignored. Youngsters should strive for a balanced approach to social
media
 usage to maintain healthy
relationships
 and well-being.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples to support your points. While the essay addresses the question, including more concrete examples can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a more varied structure in your paragraphs. Try to balance the pros and cons more evenly to provide a comprehensive overview.
task achievement
It's beneficial to add a personal opinion more clearly. While you discussed both views, making your stance more evident would enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
You've done a great job creating a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay nicely and makes it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively used linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, contributing greatly to the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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