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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people consider sports to be their career in the society. For others it is mostly a work out to stay fit. Discuss both views snd give your opinion

sport
Use synonyms
 is one of
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 almost all
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in the world. there are many various sports
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 in each country.
Use synonyms
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
Athletes
show examples
 consider
sport
Use synonyms
 as their career meanwhile others do
sport
Use synonyms
 only for their health. in
this
Linking Words
disccusion
Correct your spelling
discussion
, the writer will give
Correct article usage
a percepective
show examples
percepective
Correct your spelling
perspective
perceptive
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two points of view. sports have become one of the most promising
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
 in the world. it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been started since long time ago. many people have decided to become an
athlete
Use synonyms
 since they were
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
kids.
for example
Linking Words
 a football player named
messi
Change the capitalization
Messi
show examples
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has played since a really young age and now he is one of the best
Use synonyms
athlete
Change to a plural noun
athletes
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 era. there are lot
things
Change preposition
of things
show examples
 to consider before people state to become an
athlete
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as training almost
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
, injury, a shorter career and many more.
moreover
Linking Words
, athletes have a bigger chance to get injured either
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
common or
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
 injured. most of them
also
Linking Words
 retired when
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
 reached their 30s or 40s.
in contrast
Linking Words
 with people who only work out to stay fit. they spent maybe two or three times a week
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 exercise. they mostly spent work on other staff.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some of these workers do
sport
Use synonyms
 as their hobby. they play football, basketball, cycling,etc only for fun or just to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 with
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
.
to conclude
Linking Words
,
consider
Wrong verb form
considering
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
 as a career and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
 to stay fit are two different things.
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
deciding to do
sport
Use synonyms
 for life means you have to be more serious
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 others who do it only for their health or fun. there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some considerations that you need to think
before
Change preposition
about before
show examples
 you decide.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • athletes
  • dedication
  • career paths
  • financial stability
  • inspire
  • fitness
  • promotes
  • healthier lifestyle
  • reduces stress
  • social interactions
  • professional
  • amateur
  • prestigious
  • cultures
  • perception
  • involvement
  • personal growth
  • fulfillment
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