Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

There is no denying that all parents want their
children
to have
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number of
toys
to make them happier.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
it is a big pleasure to watch
children
's joy for adults.
However
,
this
attitude can have some drawbacks and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will try to explore
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
and drawbacks of
this
. First and foremost buying a lot of
toys
for
children
lead to over
pamper
Wrong verb form
pampering
show examples
them which is not well
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
shaping
character
Correct pronoun usage
their character
show examples
as a person.
Due to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
there is
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
possibility grow
egoistic
Add an article
an egoistic
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For
this
reason
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
to strike a balance in purchasing
toys
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
it can influence
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their mental development.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
when
children
have numerous
toys
they are not interested in playing and interacting with their peers.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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