The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some
people
say that
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
state of an individual will more likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
change in the coming days.
Therefore
, I strongly agree with
this
view. As we all know, health is wealth and to be healthy is what most
people
aim for.
However
, some
people
are becoming
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
less physically active due
high
Change preposition
to high
show examples
demands
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
work.
Therefore
, it steals spare time for them to do physical exercises.
For instance
, they have to cram on submitting projects, reports and presentations.
As a result
,
these lifestyle
Change the determiner
this lifestyle
these lifestyles
show examples
can attract and develop health risks which can be very detrimental to one's health and can eventually lead to death.
In addition
, the mutation of bacteria, viruses, fungi and other non-human living microorganisms. It is a fact, that these
disease causing
Add a hyphen
disease-causing
show examples
microbes advance as well
along with
nature and
people
. As time goes by, it will be very difficult to provide treatment and cure.
Therefore
, more
people
can get more sick,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
worse, some may die
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an early age. In summary, the basis for a person to be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
healthy might change in the future days ahead. The lifestyle,
job related
Add a hyphen
job-related
show examples
demands and
as well as
the transformation of microorganisms can be contributing factors to make
this
opinion possible.
Therefore
, I completely side
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
the same opinion.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: