The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

Some

people

say that

current

Correct article usage

the current

show examples

state of an individual will more likely

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

change in the coming days.

Therefore

, I strongly agree with

this

view. As we all know, health is wealth and to be healthy is what most

people

aim for.

However

, some

people

are becoming

Change the word

apply

show examples

less physically active due

high

Change preposition

to high

show examples

demands

from

Change preposition

show examples

work.

Therefore

, it steals spare time for them to do physical exercises.

For instance

, they have to cram on submitting projects, reports and presentations.

As a result

these lifestyle

Change the determiner

this lifestyle

these lifestyles

show examples

can attract and develop health risks which can be very detrimental to one's health and can eventually lead to death.

In addition

, the mutation of bacteria, viruses, fungi and other non-human living microorganisms. It is a fact, that these

disease causing

Add a hyphen

disease-causing

show examples

microbes advance as well

along with

nature and

people

. As time goes by, it will be very difficult to provide treatment and cure.

Therefore

, more

people

can get more sick,

even

Correct word choice

and even

show examples

worse, some may die

Change preposition

show examples

an early age. In summary, the basis for a person to be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

healthy might change in the future days ahead. The lifestyle,

job related

Add a hyphen

job-related

show examples

demands and

as well as

the transformation of microorganisms can be contributing factors to make

this

opinion possible.

Therefore

, I completely side

Change preposition

with

show examples

the same opinion.

Submitted by kmaegalilee on Tue Feb 21 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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othere think secondary school students should study inter Dions both these views and gie your while others belleve that tary school studi valuable school time. Discuss both these side

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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