IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages.

#cities #planners #shops #schools #offices #homes #areas #policy
Many city planners are in favour of modularization management which relocates all the
shops
, schools, offices, and residents' houses in different areas. In my opinion, the benefits of
this
 arrangement cannot overshadow the drawbacks since cities are places with providing essential amenities to support the citizens.
Firstly
, arranging cities by modularization management mode is merely inconvenient for the
people
. From my perspective, it goes against the natural development of human societies where we all live together to support each other. If we locate
shops
, schools, offices and residential areas separately,
people
 will have limited access to shop centres which leads to the consequence that medium and small
shops
 cannot survive.
In other words
,
people
 living in communities with well-distributed supporting buildings, mean that it can fulfil their basic needs in a single area, which is more convenient and higher efficient.
Secondly
, separating residential complexes from
shops
, schools, and offices can increase the
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
show examples
 for commuting, which will lead to environmental pollution. More precisely, rather than travelling in one area for work and study, all residents have to use public or private vehicles to commute to a different area which means that they use more petrol than usual. It would not be a big problem if there are only five to ten
people
 travelling like
this
 a day.
However
, what we are alarmed about is the whole city with everyone uses that much petrol to commute at least five days a week.
As a result
, air pollution,
as well as
 noise pollution, will be uncontrollable. In conclusion,
although
 the centralized management method may have a positive side, I oppose
this
 idea as the drawbacks are far more severe than the benefits.
Submitted by abo_adba6 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Segregation
  • Urban areas
  • Residential
  • Commercial
  • Industrial
  • Systematic development
  • Amenity provision
  • Urban management
  • Pollution
  • Quality of life
  • Transportation costs
  • Environmental impact
  • Social segregation
  • Amenities
  • Services
  • Income neighborhoods
  • Vibrant
  • Accessible
  • Travel times
  • Social interaction
  • Mixed-use developments
  • Sustainable urban planning
  • Walking
  • Cycling
  • Public transport
  • Urban sprawl
  • Green spaces
  • Agricultural land
  • Biodiversity
  • Business hubs
  • Investments
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: