IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to adress these problems? What can individual people do?

#humans #environment #governments #adress #people
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In today’s fast-paced world, spoiling nature has become a vital concern.
This
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 essay will first suggest that the biggest problem caused by
this
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 phenomenon is damaging the environment through
pollution
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 and
then
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 argue that
pollution
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 reduction and some actions which should be taken by individuals and the government are the most viable solutions. One of the significant issues that makes a planet worse to live in is air
pollution
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. A growing number of
people
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 tend to have their own private cars that they can use whenever they want without being in a crowd in a means of public transport but driving highly contributes to much waste of fuel and
pollution
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. Apart from cars, there are more and more factories which damage the planet with a substantial amount of smoke which they exclude. Governments should take some actions in order to reduce the number of waste and
pollution
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.
For instance
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, if there are any factories or fabrics that emit toxic gases or emissions, the money which they pay the government as a tax should be increased.
Moreover
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, the government should encourage
people
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 and companies to utilize sources of renewable energy by introducing the benefits of these kinds of power. Individuals
also
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 can help to mitigate
this
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 issue by commuting to certain destinations with the help of public transport rather than driving. They should
also
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 inform other
people
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 about the threats of
pollution
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 that can cause many deadly diseases for both wildlife and human beings. Some
people
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, including me apply for volunteer jobs to explore the best way that help us increase awareness among
people
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. In conclusion, an increasing number of
people
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 damage the environment by getting more fabrics and polluting air.
However
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,
this
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 issue can be tackled by governments and individuals by motivating
people
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 to utilize renewable energy resources and raising awareness in society.
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task achievement
Ensure that your examples are specific and directly support your main points. While you've discussed the general actions that governments and individuals can take, incorporating more detailed examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You might consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow of your essay. While your essay is well organized, greater syntactic variety and more nuanced transitions could enhance its readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which effectively guides the reader through your discussion.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the task by discussing the ways humans damage the environment, what governments, and individuals can do to address these issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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