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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school?

#children #encouragement #parents #performance #school #pressure #impact #child
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Some
parents
 do not have any attention to
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 academic performance ,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 a few
guardian
Change to a plural noun
guardians
show examples
 put too much pressure on their
children
 which has some drawbacks.I think
parents
 do
this
 kind of stuff to ensure a bright future for their kids. first and foremost, some
infant
Fix the agreement mistake
infants
show examples
 did not get rewards or encouragement for their good result from their
parents
 because they have a lot of workloads.
In other words
,
parents
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 both
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 don't find enough time to think about their
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 education .
For instance
,They hired a good teacher and think that their
children
 will do well in exams which works sometimes.But without ,encouragement they feel useless or not so good in study . Sometimes it leads them in a negative way.
On the other hand
, some
parents
 create an atmosphere where
children
 always think about their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and result. Because
parents
 think that without working well in school they are not able to lead a wealthy and happy life .
That is
 why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 today people's first priority
studies
Add a missing verb
is studies
show examples
.
For example
 , in Bangladesh average individuals are not well educated which is a greater obstacle to their happy life.
Hence
,
parents
 don't
want
Add the particle
towant
show examples
 live their
children
 to how they live.I think they are right because without education no one can compete in
this
 era. In conclusion, without proper guidance
children
 often lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interest and try to run away from studying.
Although
, too much pressure on the study is hazardous for
children
 . it will assist them to create a good future.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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