Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a biolent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

disagree with the statement that says young
people
who commit some important crimes,
such
as robbery or violent attack should be penalised as
adults
.
This
essay will explore several reasons for that matter.
Firstly
, a young
person
is not adult enough to completely get insights about some crucial affairs
such
as crime;
Therefore
, it will not be fair to judge them in the same procedure as
adults
in crime cases. When I was young
for instance
, I only prioritised my self-interest, and
then
after years, I became a more understanding
person
with more higher level of consciousness. In brief, my opinion is clear that young individuals may make some mistakes even serious crimes but by giving them a chance they may correct themselves as my experience shows ,
hence
it is not an affair for them to punish them as
adults
.
Secondly
, a juvenile has the potential to contribute to
society
due to
the fact that they are young the authorities must work on providing proper education for these
people
to reintroduce them back to
society
.
Furthermore
, I believe that they perform some unlawful actions because for of them are not educated enough . Educating those young criminals is important to making them correct,so they will be better
people
for
society
.
For example
, I recommend constructing organizations that young attend and learn about the unfavourable effects of criminal actions that a
person
deals
Correct subject-verb agreement
deal
show examples
with. To some degree, it may protect the young generation from criminal actions.
Due to
these reasons, a young
person
should not be punished
similarly
to
adults
.
To conclude
, I reiterate that teenagers should not be chastised as
adults
because they are still young means there is time to fix themselves whatever they did the path of truth is open to them , and it is not fair to judge them the same way as
adults
. Another reason is that young
people
have the full potential to put something useful in
society
, and creating educative organizations is essential to address
this
problem.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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coherence cohesion
It would be beneficial to polish the organization of your essay. Ensure that you have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that makes the main idea of that paragraph clear.
task achievement
Although your ideas are clear, providing more well-developed examples could enhance your arguments. For instance, use specific incidents or statistics to back up your points more effectively.
task achievement
You've provided a clear stance on the topic and addressed it throughout the essay.
task achievement
Usage of personal experience is good as it makes the essay more relatable and engaging.

Your opinion

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