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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views.

#people #companies #aim #work #team #instructions
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In recent years, the problem of recruiting
employees
 who work independently or in a teamwork environment has gained enormous popularity among people.
While
 some believe that business industries should hire individual workers, others consider that a collaborative atmosphere is more effective for success.
This
 essay explores both views and gives appropriate reasons. On the one hand, proponents of employing ones with independent traits have several grounds.
Firstly
, companies may reduce overhead costs by taking on a limited number of talented personnel
instead
 of a wide range of staff. Independent workers who have become professional and well-educated for a long year can replace increasing levels of staff members, contributing to the
overall
 effectiveness of the company.
Secondly
, self-sufficient
employees
 can think and act autonomously which is highly likely to bring fresh ideas to the company.
Moreover
, they can manage difficult situations without constant supervision which leads to reducing the burden on management.
On the other hand
, those who agree with the opinion that companies should recruit successful team members have their own reasons.
Initially
, teams in the workplace often consist of individuals with diverse abilities that combination of these skills can enhance the productivity of operating tasks and assist other
employees
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are prone to improve their capacity.
Furthermore
, team members may provide mutual support and foster a positive work surrounding.
This
 support system empowers them to levitate motivation and job satisfaction which enables them to carry out complicated projects and adhere to instructions easily throughout a short period. In conclusion, both supporters and opponents have their respective points in recruiting workers. Companies should balance the rate of independent
employees
 and a teamwork environment for acquiring achievement.
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Task Achievement
To improve task response, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt by exploring each viewpoint in equal depth and demonstrating a clear personal stance in your conclusion. Providing a balanced discussion will enhance your score in this area.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more fluidly. Consider incorporating phrases like 'in addition' or 'conversely' to better connect your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
For cohesion, strive to make each paragraph focus on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph clearly. This structure will help your reader follow your argumentation more easily and improve the overall clarity of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovative
  • independent
  • creative
  • problem-solving skills
  • development
  • new ideas
  • solutions
  • productivity
  • competitiveness
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • consistency
  • adherence
  • policies
  • conflicts
  • efficiency
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