IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#adults #children #money #age #support
It is very critical to understand the value and importance of
money
.
While
 some may argue that
children
 should not be taught to manage their own
money
 at a very young
age
, others think the contrary. From my perspective, I agree with the statement that a child should be taught how to manage his savings ,particularly starting from a very tender
age
. I strongly think
this
 way mainly for two reasons, which I shall explain in the following essay. First and foremost, teaching young
children
 the importance of
money
 is very crucial during their prime
age
 as the lessons taught will be inculcated in their minds immediately and effectively,
whereas
,
on the contrary
, teaching an adult about
this
 will deem to be more of a demeaning task. As a child's brain develops when he is young, teaching new things and objectives will be registered much quicker than adults.
For example
, my nephew got scolded when he broke his piggy bank to buy some candies. From
then
 on he never carried out
such
 behaviour as he knew of the repercussions he would face.
Secondly
, instructing about
money
 management to
children
 will
also
 enable them to understand and respect the value of
money
.
This
 will induce a notion to spend their
money
 in a wise and responsible manner. Based on the previous example of my nephew, he eventually started saving up his
money
 and
finally
 bought himself a classic bicycle which turned out to be a good investment. Tutoring these young minds will later on really benefit them when they get older,
furthermore
, it will benefit them in leading a successful life.
While
 some contradict
this
 by stating that
children
 should not be dealing with finances at a young
age
 as they tend to make a lot of mistakes,
however
, it is through mistakes a child learns his lesson.
In addition
, it is better to make a financial mistake when they are young than to make one when they are older as its consequences will be far more devastating and adverse. In conclusion, I believe
children
 should be instructed to manage their own savings as it will implant a knowledge of the importance of
money
.
Submitted by jestinjohnson.09 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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