IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

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Few persons are of the opinion that education starting from kindergarten till the highest level is largely based on rote learning and is devoid of useful hands-on experience . I ,openly ,affirm
this
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 notion an education lacking real-life experiences is known to cause more harm than good as without professional individuals a country cannot be a prosperous one for the following reasons . To initiate , for growth and development of the globe, a largely skilled population is mandatory which which could only be generated with early exposure to practicals in classroom learning
along with
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 basic facts. Let us say that an MBBS doctor can only cure a patient if he has been exposed to a human body beforehand.The more a doctor deals with real bodies ,the better he becomes an expert in his field.
Furthermore
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 , A mechanical engineer can develop pieces of machinery only if he is aware of its parts through workshops .
Such
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 experts in their fields will bring laurels to their country.
For Example
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, Medical tourism in
India
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 is a paramount example of the exposure-based education system .
Moreover
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 , only learning facts may not yield any stable jobs ,especially in developing countries like
India
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, and Pakistan reason being their overpopulation. In
such
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 scenarios, practical-based discipline imparts the skills that might boost the local industries ,
hence
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 ,stirring up the economy and
as a result
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 ,giving rise to new jobs .To illustrate,
India
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 is famous for its handicrafts , knitting , and weaving works. All of the above are the direct outcome of vocational literacy which is quite popularly followed in the country .
Thus
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 , craftsmen are mass in numbers in
India
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 . To summarize , as much as it is true that facts need to be memorised until a certain age, but is the practical aspect of any subject that helps in generating the most reputable and revered personalities of a region like teachers , pharmacists, and scientists .

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Coherence & Coherence
Consider varying your sentence structures more effectively to enhance readability and engagement. While your essay is well-organized, more diverse sentences could make your points even clearer and more compelling.
Task Response
On task response, you've thoroughly answered the question, providing clear opinions with supporting examples. Nevertheless, expanding on those examples and exploring varying viewpoints could further solidify your position and add depth to your argument.
General
Pay attention to repetition. You have a few instances of repeated words or phrases. Look for opportunities to use synonyms or rephrase your sentences to avoid repetition, as this will make your writing more dynamic and engaging.
Coherence & Cohesion
You presented a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively guiding the reader through your argument.
Task Response
You made good use of supporting examples, such as the significance of practical experience for medical doctors and engineers, which strongly backs up your argument and makes your case persuasive.
Global Insight
Your engagement with a global perspective, mentioning specifics from countries like India and Pakistan, demonstrates an understanding of the broader implications of your argument, adding both relevance and weight to your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasis
  • essential
  • success
  • careers
  • everyday life
  • enhance
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • promotes
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • balancing
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