IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #home #trend
Tons of elderly people are no longer looked after by their families and are shoved into nursing
homes
. Just like all the other things
this
 trend has both positive and negative impacts and I will be discussing them respectively in the paragraphs below Nursing
homes
 are a new yet popular trend where elders are carefully placed in comforting surroundings.
This
 idea has peaked as it helps the older generation acquire the suitable help they need. These fostering programs are specialised for the elderly which makes
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 perfect for them. These organisations help the old receive full attention that they might not have been able to afford at their previous
homes
.
For example
 - a grandma was taken care of and showered with alertness at the nursing home which helped her deal with her weak knees. As much as
this
 idea sounds perfect it
also
 has some downsides. These services are attention-providing but lack a serious amount of personal emotional touch.
Whereas
, in their original
homes
 they would have gotten a sense of personal love and affection. Not only
this
 but most elders would prefer spending time with their loved ones than living with strangers on their
last
 days. family affection can be very important as most elders develop depression because of old age.
For example
 - a grandpa was fed homemade food made with love by his family which helped him get closure and
also
 helped him with his depression. Concluding the texts above helps us realise that nursing
homes
 can both help and ruin a patient's life, so we should take our time and look for our elder’s opinions before making a big decision
Submitted by infojmvisaservices on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: